I am not

from within

a request

to heal

exam the damage

my body relaxes

to strengthen my belief

in miracles-

in new love-

possibilities-

sharing-

in you

I slow my breath

and forget what I am not

mediating

without prayer

with less demand

just resting my body

and

slowly letting you in

different

those icy stares

the looks of question

not an acknowledgement

of a person like me

only a repulsed grin or a startled glare

is what I am forced to see

unwilling to know

to ask

'why am I me?'

some seem curious about my difference

but unable to seek

to inquire

'as to how I can be?'

I grow accustom to glares

simply untouched by their faces

since I keep my steps moving ahead

my eyes diverted from theirs

but in silence

I am wishing that they would just

pretend to care

plea

my head is not bowed

my eyes look upward

searching for presence

screaming

I need to see

give me a moment

begging

let me feel an answer

fill my head with words

if that is what must be

just show

what more can I do?

what really do you need?

how much longer do I seek

that peace you claim

lies within me?

speak to me.

from my window

my skin reacts

goose bumps tingle up and down

the blood in my viens seems to speed along

my brow expresses a hint of my feelings

with a glisten of sweat-

my hands sightly tremble

I should keep them out of sight

my eyes fill up with moisture

and a painful longing

as you enter the room

words do not form

my lips remain still-

again you are so near

my breath is held

as you pass I breathe you in

and while you leave

I close my eyes and prepare

for the next opportunity

by simply reliving

that nearness of you-

all through my body

forecast

unclean

the dry wind speeds by

my neck stiffens

as more cruel words

are tossed about

unwelcoming climate

to hot

to cold

my eyes easily redden

more children are effected

stunted by lack of nourishment

by less rain

by clouds of lies and violence

my head feels full

the sun is strong

and the wind becomes

a storm

more people lose hope

and my hands

become fists

float

water covers me

my body wet

a sensation takes over

as I wade in this lake-

I am separated from all

but the cool water

that breaks on my chest

how I love to float

in blues

to lower my head

into the depth of wet silence

I am alone-

drenched in water

from rain- snow

god's gifts are simple- renewing

looking upward

wet hair across my eyes

the sensation drowns me

in spirit- alone

I am almost there.